New Years Tips
New Year’s is often a time of self-reflection and goal setting. So I thought I’d share a couple of tips for you to consider in anticipation of the new year that is upon us.
Tip #1
Consider accepting yourself as you are right now. I can hear all of your objections as you read that first sentence. I can’t accept myself as I am- I’m too fat, I’m too ugly, I’m too lazy, I’m too… People often mistake acceptance with stagnation. If I accept myself I’ll never change. But that’s the crazy thing- acceptance is what actually creates the most effective change. Acceptance allows us to take stock of reality as it is in the here and now and make the best possible decisions based on that reality. If you’re interested, you can read more about self-acceptance here.
From my perspective one of the most difficult areas people have trouble accepting is their body or physical appearance. I have pre-ordered a book “Living with Your Body and Other Things You Hate” by Emily Sandoz and Troy DuFrene. It utilizes ACT- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. As the name indicates, acceptance of what is, is at the core of living a more fulfilled life. I hope you’ll check it out too.
If you need some more inspiration for body acceptance, check out this incredibly powerful interview with Ellen DeGeneres and model Robyn Lawley. As Ellen points out- as women we aren’t supposed to say, I’m comfortable with my body. And THAT is hugely problematic. They take acceptance one step further and talk about body love, which I realize is a hard message to swallow for many of you. At the end of the clip, Robyn also mentions the fact that we shouldn’t comment so freely on other people’s bodies. I agree whole-heartedly, which takes me to…
Tip #2
Stop gossiping and commenting on other people’s appearance, especially those near and dear to you. A client sent me this Q&A from The Boston Globe. A reader wanted to get advice on how to handle her family’s gossip and criticism about her weight. Your body is your business and nobody’s else’s. Unnecessary body talk creates discomfort and hurt feelings that creates walls of defense and avoidance to be erected. Instead, why not discuss the things we are doing and thinking about instead.
I hope 2014 holds the promise of health and healing for each of you. What tips would you share with me and the other readers of this blog?